“God’s Not Dead And Neither Is Joy”

It’s been nearly eight months since my last blog, this is why I elude to the fact that I’m not dead.  As my readers may know I struggle with bi-polar disorder and the last year has been a difficult one.  When in the throws of depression my creative juices are nonexistent so blogging becomes nearly impossible.  I apologize for my long absence.   But on to what this blog is all about encouragement.

We’ve been having a number of earthquakes in Southern California recently and I must say us Southern Californians react differently.  That’s to say that not all of us react the same when faced with a strong earthquake.

The first guakes hit Brea, La Habra and Fullerton on Friday March 28th.  There was a 3.6 earlier but by 9 something at night while my dog Tessa and I were haviing a late dinner the 5.1 hit and shook hard.  Stoping Tessa from finishing her dinner and upseting her enough with all the very many after shocks that she didn’t go back to eating until 2:30 a.m.  The guakes had stopped for about two hours by then.

My friend was in bed when the earthqauke hit while my reaction was to keep eating dinner and my dogs was to stop, hers was to feel alone and shout out “Lord don’t forget me!  Don’t leave me here!”

The following day my friend Julie and I decided to go see “God’s Not Dead”.  [Now I must admit that all these earthquakes had me unnerved and feeling very compassionate towards my poor dog, what if one hit while I was gone how would she be?]  We went to the 1:00 showing got in our seats and snuggled down to enjoy the show.

The movie was fantastic!  I highly recommend it.  As we were enthralled by the movie the earth began to shake violently.  Julie and I immediately grabbed each others hand and held it until the quake was over.  Then the most amazing thing happened where the two of us a moment earlier were experiencing fear subsided by companionship, came joy at the shouting out in the theater “Praise You Jesus!”  Yes there in the middle of the theater was a time of rememberance of who was really in control.  As the movie was telling us and the earth was showing us God is not dead.  He is very alive.

We can take the opportunity when things are out of our control to be fearful or to rest in the hands of God.  Yes someone with skin on is comforting but they can let you down through no fault of their own.  But God will never let us down.  He is always on our side and always faithful.  It is His nature and He can’t go against His nature.

So next time life takes a turn in a direction unexpected or life shakes you up turn to the One who is steadfast and never changing.  That just may be God’s way of getting your attention so that you will turn to Him for the guidance and the solace you need.

Joy – A Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

Help! I’m Bi-polar!

I struggle with Bi-polar disorder and the past two plus weeks I’ve been struggling with severe depression.  When this happens it is easy to believe God has deserted you.  Now I am fully aware that that is not Biblically sound doctrine.  It’s just when your deep in the pit of despair it’s easy to go by feelings rather than faith of the truth of God’s Word.  But this is what God’s Word has to say on the matter:

What a blessed promise.  When I’m isolating in my apartment, I’m never truly alone.  God is with me.  He promises this and He is faithful, He never breaks His Word.

When I keep the discipline of staying in His Word I find these jewels that help me to hold on one more day in hopes of the depression leaving soon and life looking full of possibilities for the future.

I love this version of this particular verse because instead of translating the word to prosper which most people equate with money, something God has never seen fit to lavish upon me, it translates it as peace and that I’d much prefer.

There is another verse that I have found helpful in changing the thoughts that don’t help with the depression that I am fighting.

Filling my mind with positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts literally changed my life that and the decision that suicide was no longer an option.  But there is more than just the positive thoughts Philippians 4:9 goes on to say, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.”  Now that’s a wonderful promise! But notice the promise comes with action on our part.

For any of you that are struggling with Bi-polar disorder please don’t get me wrong in no way am I saying that it is easy to deal with.  I struggle with wanting to isolate, sleep my life away, gorge myself into oblivion so I don’t have to feel and I have even done less healthy things in an attempt to cope. What I am saying is it is a fight we mustn’t stop, and in that fight use any tool available to you.  Take your meds religiously.  See your doctors and therapists regularly and be open and honest with them.  Make sure you have a support network.  If you don’t work occupy yourself so you have a set schedule. Get plenty of rest and have a consistent bedtime.  Eat healthy even when you don’t want to.  Get exercise and get 20 minutes of morning sun.  All of these will help you live a better life.

Joy – Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

God Trusts You, Do You Trust God?

God trusts you, do you trust God?

I’ve been a Christian for a long time and there have been times that have felt like a dry spell, times of refreshment, desert times, and honeymoon times, but through it all God has taught me one constant, that no matter how it feels He is always there and all I need to do is trust Him through whatever time I’m going through.  Just as Mother Teresa has said there are times when, “I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!”  But none the less God is faithful and He knows what is best despite our lack of faith and trust.

He will pray to God, and God will delight in him.  That man will behold His face with a shout of joy.  –  Job 33:26

Now if ever there was a man who was familiar with difficulties it was Job but look at the promise God gives him for his faithfulness to God.  God delights in our prayers, there is an awesome thought.  That alone should get me on my knees more often.  And if that weren’t enough we will behold His face one day the later seems to me like a well duh moment, of course we’ll shout for joy!  What we’ve been imagining for all so long we will no longer have to imagine, we will actually be in the presence of our God. Hurrah! Hallelujah! And Amen!!

But on the way to getting to that place God calls us to grow in Christ.  To become more and more like Him each day.

My journey has me on the discovery of past to overcome and move on in the here and now.  I praise God that things that where once just suspicions are now actual memories and I no longer doubt myself but am doing the work I need to do to move on from here.  It isn’t always fun, work rarely is, but it is necessary and freeing.   For that I am so grateful to God.  I’m making progress that I’ve never been able to make before and a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

You have begun to live a new life, in which you are being made new ad are becoming like the One who made you.  –  Colossians 3:10

As you go through the journey that God has in store for you to bring you to the perfect place that He has in mind for you, may I give you some advise to surrender to the Masters hands?  He knows the pattern of the cloth that He is weaving you into.  While you see the underside with all it’s dark threads of depression or deep red threads of pain, there are other threads you are less aware of that when it is finished in the Master Weaver’s hands will make a cloth so beautiful as you could never imagine.  Trust the Master and allow Him entrance into all the areas of your life.

“For I know the plans that I have for you, ” declares the LORD, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”  –  Jeremiah 29:11

You see God promises that His plans are for our good.  So you can trust Him.

I have been through the dry spells and the desert times when you feel like you are all alone in what you are going through.  I have cried out to God, “Where are You?” “Don’t You see me?” “Don’t You care?” You want to know a secret? I have even cried out, “I don’t want to die right now cause I don’t want to  see You!  I hate You!  How could you let them institutionalize me!  He won!  If You came down here in the form of a man I would beat You!”  I might have well cried it out it was what was on my heart at the time and God already knew it.  I’m sure the nurses in the psych ward thought I was in the right place.  I misunderstood and thought I’d been institutionalized when it was just another in many psych ward visits.  You see my ex had gotten an attorney to see if he and my mother-in-law could institutionalize me, thus the rant when I thought I was.  But God as always was faithful and saw me through. Another lesson in trust.

He will always be there for me, I know that now.  My moments of doubt still come but they last far shorter than they used to instead of weeks or months they may last days or moments on a good day.  Then I remember all my Father has brought me through and I laugh to myself that I even questioned for a second that He wouldn’t have this covered too.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart!