30 Days of Gratitude – Day 12

Today I’m grateful for my Lord and how gracious He is to me.

The more we’re grateful for the more things come to mind to be grateful for.

“My mom taught me years ago that Thanksgiving is about remembering to focus on good things, even in the presence of bad things.  Recent experience has shown me how remembering those bad things can actually bring divine goodness and mercy into sharper focus.  In the context of being lost, being found is more wondrous.  In the context of being persecuted, finding acceptance is more precious.  In the context of being sick, being healed is more miraculous.”

I’m grateful to God for all that He has allowed me to go through!  A bad marriage so that I may appreciate and recognize a wonderful relationship.  Being in a wheelchair so that I can appreciate being out of the wheelchair.  Being Bi-polar with it’s ups and it’s downs so that I might rejoice in the beauty of a normal day.  Not everyone knows that gift.  Maybe you know it for other reasons of things that you suffer through to enjoy a day of peace and rest from it.  I’m grateful for my parents divorce so I could see my dad and stepmom’s marriage and love for one another.  What a gift that was to me!  I thank God for being homeless, so I appreciate all the shelters He’s provided me and my lovely apartment now.  I thank God for both my dad and stepmom’s lives, what an example they set.  I thank God their in heaven out of all the pain they were in at the end of their lives. It has taught me to cherish the living while they are still here.  I’m grateful for the abuse in my life, now being treated lovingly like a lady is all the sweeter.  I thank God that He saved me from myself, life is now so precious to me.  How could I have ever been so determined to end it?  Praise You Father for rescuing me from that mentality!

A Prayer

“Dear God, how thankful I am for your gracious rescue!  Help me to remember, every moment of every day and night, to live in a way that shows my gratitude and thanksgiving to you.  In Jesus’ name, amen.”

By Lisa Harper  November 22nd  entry “Growing Deep Roots of Gratitude”  from “Daily Gifts of Grace: Devotions for Each Day of Your Year”

Both the above quote and prayer are from the same place.

I know this is after Thanksgiving but is it ever too late to thank God for all He’s done for us?  I think this is a good daily exercise.  Let me know what your thankful for.

Joy – A Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

How Do You Look At The Details Of Your Life?

I love this from Beth Moore in her, “Breaking Free: Day by Day” devotional, this was found on 8/29:

We have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us.  –   2 Corinthians 4:7

Here is my personal check list of Scriptures and evaluations that I seek to apply to my life on a regular basis.

  • Is my most important consideration in every undertaking whether or not God could be glorified? (1 Cor. 10:31)
  • Do I desire God’s glory or my own? (John 8:50,54)
  • In my service to others, is my sincere hope that they will somehow see God in me? (1 Pet. 4:10-11)
  • When I am going through hardships, do I turn to God and try to cooperate with Him so He can use them for my good and for His glory? (1 Pet. 4:12-13).

These really got me thinking about the motives behind what I do on a daily basis.  Do I follow the four bullet points that Beth talks about or am I more concerned about myself.  To be honest I’d say it is not as good as I would like it to be.

I want to be used by God not just sit on the sidelines and watch while others have all the fun.  I want others to see God in me.  As a matter of fact that is what I want them to be consumed by God when they look at me.

I want my hardships to be used for my good and for His glory.  That is one of my ultimate goals.  It is my ultimate work goal.  I want to encourage people as much as possible that no matter what it is that they have gone through, our God is greater and He will bring you through to the other side and you will be the better for it.

If I had known nearly 25 years ago what I know now: 1. I never would have believed it possible.  2. It would have saved me a ton of misery if I could have wrapped my mind around it.  Nearly 25 years ago I had made my first of too many to count attempts at suicide.  Now I know that that is not an option for me.  I have better coping skills with the illnesses of Bi-polar and General Anxiety Disorder.  Unless I’m sick I keep my appointments with my doctors and am very strict with myself about taking meds.  I’m getting better about keeping to a stringent sleep schedule, although at times I fail.

Whatever your Achilles heel is, it is my strong belief that you too can live a victorious life, are you going through a ugly divorce?  Allow God to teach you and bring you through.  There are always lessons to be learned no matter what it is that we are going through.  Dealing with issues of abuse?  God can help you there too.  He can help to show you that you’re not the one to blame and that in due time with healing forgiveness can be given for your benefit but that takes time so don’t feel bad if you’re not ready yet.  Going through a loss.  God is the Great Comforter and He longs to comfort you in a way that no human can be.  Once He has comforted you, you will have a more intimate relationship with Him than ever before.

The list could go on and on but it is my fervent hope that you get the idea and whatever you are dealing with the Holy Spirit has already brought it to mind and how He would like to be there for you if you would just trust Him and release yourself to Him.  He is called the Comforter for a reason.  Allow Him to do what He is here to do.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

The Truth Will Set You Free

It is no fun living in bondage.  As a believer that has lived under bondage for far too long let me encourage you to take your fears to the cross and ask Christ for wisdom in what the truth is that has you bound.

With the help of my counselor I did that today and learned a lie that I had been believing for far too long.  The enemy knew my past, something I had hidden much of from myself as a means to cope, and was using it to keep me in bondage.

Today for the first time in decades of therapy  I was strong enough to look at some very difficult things.  It’s not that I hadn’t had inklings that these things had happened but with no memory I doubted myself.  The Lord very graciously brought these things back to memory for me today and with that truth came freedom.

I finally became aware of the lie I had been believing the majority of my life, “If I was pretty, men would hurt me.”  I have been the victim of multiple rapes starting at the age of 10.  But until today, I only had suspicions of them and no actual memories.  God is His goodness knew two things today.  One that I was now strong enough to handle the truth and two that I needed to know the truth for real healing to happen.  I feel finally as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  The self-doubt, questions, confusion is all gone now that I know the truth.

No I would prefer that this had not happened to me but knowing it, explains so many things in my life.  Why as soon as I start getting thin and getting compliments on how pretty I look I turn to food in an attempt to alter my appearance.  Since I believed the lie, “If I’m pretty, men would hurt me.”  I did what I could to make myself unattractive.  Yet another part of me wanted to feel and look pretty because I equated it with love.  Definitely not the right kind of love.

When I had blossomed to 350 pounds I hated myself and the very sight of me.  I avoided mirrors and the scale.  I didn’t want to know the truth of how bad it had gotten.  The things that I wanted to do to myself are too horrible to mention.  Suffice it to say I was miserable. Now 98 pounds lighter I’m learning to love myself.  I’m still not satisfied with my weight but I am hopeful with todays revelation I will stop sabotaging myself on my journey to a healthy weight.

Isn’t this picture true we are the elephant with God’s help big enough to escape the bounds of these chains and these chains are the enemy and all his lies tricking us into thinking that we are stuck in our bondage.

This is the biggest revelation God has given me about how the truth truly does set you free.  I’ve been in bondage to food and I feel it grip released on me.  I praise God for that.  I know that it is nothing of my own it is totally from Him and the gift of showing me the truth of my life.

My part was to be willing and open to His guidance.  Isn’t that all He asks of us on a daily basis?  After this revelation my fear has gone and I’m more willing to trust Him and His will for my life, wherever that takes me.

My hope for you is that you didn’t have to go through the same things I have.  But I also hope that you will learn to be open to God’s guidance and free from fear.  I also pray that you learn the blessed truth of how the truth really does set you free.  So don’t be fooled like the elephant be the triumphant child of God that you are!

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

Lora’s Lesson – A Short Story – Part 8

Diane worked 11pm to 3pm that day and thanks to Flossy, news had reached the hospital. Diane went to Lynn’s school straight from work to see how she was holding up. Lynn was busy talking to the teacher’s aide with her back to the door. Once the aide left the room Diane grabbed a nearby chair. When Lynn saw Diane she fell in her arms and wept. Diane stroked her hair and kept repeating “We’ll get through this Lynn, we will get through this.”

Eventually Lynn’s crying subsided and she asked, “Does everyone know what happened?” “I don’t know about everyone but I do know that it has reached the hospital. Lynn not that it changes our friendship and how much I care for you but just so I know how to support you were you raped and did you go through an abortion?” “Yes it is all true.” moaned Lynn. “My boyfriend at the time was drunk and forced himself on me.” A quizzical Diane asked, “Why would Lora betray your confidence like that?” “I’ve been seeing Kenneth Randolph; he turned out to be the new counselor at school. He started the Monday after we meet him at the bar; we’ve been having lunch every day since then. I finally told Lora about it and asked her forgiveness for not asking her permission to see him but she blew up and decided I had destroyed our friendship.” Diane consoled, “I’m so sorry that Lora has decided to do this act of revenge to you.”

Concerned but not wanting to hurt Lynn, Diane ventured, “I’ve known that something has been gnawing at you since college but I never knew how to talk to you about it. I also noticed that you’ve always been on the thin side and life gets stressful you get almost scary thin. I realize now I should have spoken to you in college about the weight thing. I also noticed that at times you would spend a lot of time in your room almost like you were hiding from the rest of the world. Where you hiding?” Lynn answered, “The hiding thing yeh maybe. The thing gnawing at me you now know even Ken mentioned it, is it that obvious?” “I don’t think it’s obvious, only those closest to you would see that deep into your soul.” Diane said.

Lora facing away from the door didn’t see Ken pop in to check on her. Diane gave a quick knowing look assuring him she had things under control. He slipped out and left the two friends alone. Lynn said rather insulted and annoyed, “As for the eating thing I think you are way off base Diane. Just because I eat healthy and don’t have a big appetite like other people and have small bones people think that I’m too thin. I’ve never been too thin in my life! If anything I have had trouble keeping my weight down.” “I’m sorry Lynn; I didn’t mean to hit a nerve with you.” Diane caring for Lynn ventured at the risk of their friendship, “Have you ever dealt with all of this or have you hidden it away hoping it would go way?” “I’ve done my best to put it behind me hoping never to have to think or hear about it again.” replied Lynn. “It might be hard to understand this right now since this has come to light it could be an opportunity for healing.” suggested Diane. Lynn looked at her in shock and horror. “I don’t want to look at this!” Diane continued, “Lynn have you allowed yourself to grieve over the loss of choice? Curtis robbed you of that choice the moment he forced himself on you?” Lynn moaned, “No, I never allowed myself to completely face it. I cried that night and the next day and that was the last of it.” Once again Diane tested their friendship, “That is not all he robbed you of have you grieved the loss of your virginity?” “No.” groaned Lynn.

Diane risked Lynn’s repercussion once more, “Have you ever grieved the loss of your child?” Lynn hadn’t thought of it but the question put it together for her, she replied, “It never occurred to me but I did feel dead and empty inside after the abortion. I couldn’t talk to Lora about it she thought of it as something to just get over with and so did I until it was over. I never imagined that I would feel even worse after the abortion than I did before it. I wish I had carried it and given it up for adoption.” Diane sympathized, “Lynn I’m so sorry, what you went through was hard enough, the fact that you had to do it alone is even worse. I know that I can’t do anything to change your pain but I want you to know that whenever you want to talk about any of this I am here for you.” Lynn felt relieved she had a friend to talk to when she was ready. She responded “Thanks Diane, I’ll take you up on that but right now I’m more concerned about how these revelations are going to impact my life now. Such as what will Curtis do now that this is out?” Diane replied, “We will deal with each fall out of these revelations as they occur.”

Noticing Lynn’s drawn face and tired eyes Diane said, “You look spent. Would you like to get some dinner so you don’t have to cook or I could bring some take out over?” Wanting to be alone Lynn answered, “Thanks, but I think I just want to take a nice long hot bath and go to bed early maybe I’ll have some yogurt and carrots for dinner.” “Try to eat a little more than just that for dinner you will feel better.” ventured Diane. Lynn quipped, “Thanks Diane but I’m a big girl, and I know how to fix my own dinner.”

Lora’s Lesson – A Short Story – Part 7

A few days later Lynn got a call from her mom. “Lynn, your dad and I got a letter from Lora, sweetheart she writes that you told her that Curtis raped you and that you got pregnant and she took you to get an abortion. Honey your dad and I are not judging you but we want to know if what she wrote us is true?” Lynn was stunned; she didn’t know what to do. “Lynn are you there?” asked her mom. “Yes mom, um the answer to your question is yes. That is why I broke up with Curtis on New Years. That’s the night it happened.” replied Lynn, her stomach was all in knots. “Mom, who else knows?” “I’m not sure honey but all I do know is she sent letters to dad and I and the boys but I don’t know who else Lora wrote letters to. Lynn, I’m so sorry you didn’t feel comfortable or safe enough coming to us with this. I can only imagine how painful, scary and frightening this must have been for you.” There was the sound of tears in her mom’s voice. Changing thoughts, she asked, “What happened that she would turn on you?” “Oh mom, she’s getting back at me, I’ve fallen in love with a man,” cried Lynn “that she spent the night flirting with and I didn’t get permission to date him from her first. She is furious with me and I can see that by what she’s done she was serious about me ruining our friendship over a man. I don’t want to lose her but I think that Ken could be the one. Mom I’m so torn on what to do.” Trying to sooth Lynn her mom responded, “You and Lora have been through a lot together and hopefully this will get straightened out, but if you really believe that this man is the man for you, I would say to follow your heart.” her mom continued. “Lynn, I also want you to know that your dad and I love you and we support you, especially if the rape and abortion gets broadcast even more. Whatever fallout Lora is working on we are here for you.” “Thanks mom and let dad know how much I appreciate his support. I have a feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better. Excuse me mom but I really must get a hold of Ken before someone else does.” said Lynn.

She tried calling Ken at home but she got his machine. Then she tried his cell phone but he wasn’t picking up. She was apprehensive as she drove to school, parked and walked to his office. She knocked tentatively on his door and he welcomed the knocker in. Ken looked up from a pile of folders on his desk when she walked in. She was even more nervous when she saw him. He came out from behind his desk and took her in his arms saying, “Hi sweetheart, I think I know what you’ve come to talk about but I’m really swamped and I want to give you my full attention, so how about having our usual lunch?” Much relieved Lynn said, “That sounds fine to me.” After a soft gentle first kiss that sent chills through Lynn’s body, she went to her classroom elated.

Lunch couldn’t come soon enough for Lynn. She was barely aware of teaching English; she was watching the clock so much. At the park Lynn started with, “Have you heard some unpleasant things about me?” She didn’t know how else to broach the subject. Ken took Lynn’s hand and looked in her eyes and said in a matter of fact way, “Lynn, there is a rumor that you were raped or more accurately the rumor is that you said you were raped and that you had an abortion. Whether that is true or not I still feel the same way about you darling and we will get through this together.” Lynn felt so comforted by these words of affection, she admitted, “It is true that my high school boyfriend raped me and I got pregnant. I couldn’t face any of it so I got an abortion and never told anyone about it except Lora. Now that she knows about us she’s lashing out. She is using this as a weapon hoping to split us up and destroying my reputation. How is this going to affect us? Will this jeopardize my teaching position? What will be Curtis’ reaction? What is everyone thinking about me?”“Lynn I have seen something in your eyes for a long time now that looked painfully haunting and now I know what it was.” Ken admitted moving a little closer to her, “As far as this affecting us don’t worry my darling we will get through this together. You will always have me by your side and there is nothing that anyone can do that the two of us can’t handle together.” He said as he held the sobbing Lynn.

Lora’s Lesson – A Short Story – Part 2

They pulled into a sleazy motel on the far side of town. The parking lot was almost deserted. Curtis told Lynn to keep her trap shut or there would be hell to pay. He threatened her that while he got the key if she tried anything he would make her life a living hell. “You know that there is no way you can out run me,” he terrorized, “so don’t even try.” Once at the room, she was in such a state that she didn’t even think to lock her door before he came around opened the door and jerked her out of the truck. Again dragging her this time to the motel room, she cried, “No, no, no, please no!” Once in the room Lynn continued to try and reason with him, “You don’t really want to do this Curtis. Please think about it.” Curtis replied, “You knew that tonight was the night. You’re nothing but a tease. I held up my part of the evening. I gave you all the romance you wanted; an expensive dinner, dancing and now I get what I want.”, as he threw her on the bed and covered her mouth to muffle her screams. Lora cried through the whole ordeal. When it was over Curtis said, “Get yourself together and I’ll take you home!” The hatred and coldness in his voice scared Lynn. She sat in utter silence all the way home. Nothing was said by either of them once the truck stopped in front of her house; she just jumped out of the vehicle and ran into the house and upstairs to her room.

Thank God mom and dad weren’t home yet, they were still celebrating. Lynn was not ready to face them. She got her night clothes and went to the bathroom for a long hot shower. She scrubbed long and hard to get the scent of Curtis off of her and wept the entire time. An hour and a half later she was in bed still weeping more softly now than when she was in the shower. She wasn’t sure how long she lay in bed trying to muffle her sobs with her pillow. Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning Lynn awoke in pain from the forcefulness of Curtis and exhausted. Her mom told her that Lora was on the phone, Lynn responded, “Tell her I’m not interested in talking with her.”; realizing this might make her mom curious. She added, “Tell her I’ll call her back later, I’m just too tired still.” She was conflicted, Lora was her best friend and she desperately needed someone to talk to but Lora was also the one that had bailed on her last night. She couldn’t help but feeling angry at Lora. “How could she leave me in his company? After all, she’s seen what he’s like drunk. What would make her think last night would be any different and I told her about the plans for the evening? How could she not know what happened was going to happen? I hate Curtis and I never want to see him again and I think I hate Lora and I don’t really want to see her!” Lynn spent the majority of the day in her room in her bed. She had come down to have a light breakfast and lunch for she truly wasn’t hungry and was only keeping up appearances. Mom had made some comment about her still being in her pajamas at breakfast, so Lynn dressed not wanting to arouse suspicions.

Later in the afternoon while Lynn was still lying on her bed in bounced Lora. Lynn’s mom had let her in and not knowing anything was wrong and told her that Lynn was in her room. Lora was all excited, completely oblivious to Lynn, “Tom asked me to go steady last night isn’t that just great? I couldn’t believe it when I heard it! I even said, ‘What?’ Can you believe it? How embarrassing! But he said it again and it was true after going out only two weeks he wants to go steady! Jeez that man moves fast! And he made it the best night ever! When he came to my door he had a single red rose – isn’t that romantic? Then he took me to the “Quiet Cannon” it had a beautiful ocean and starry night view. After dinner we had a delicious dessert a chocolate mousse that had so many layers of flavors in it, it was amazing! I’m sure I could taste hints orange and maybe some raspberry as well, dark chocolate blended with real whip cream and whatever else they put in it. It was stupendous! Then of course we met you and Curtis at the Club and danced the night away. We didn’t see you leave but when the club closed we went to a scenic point and talked and talked. That’s when he asked me to go steady with him. And of course I said yes. “. Lynn had been ignoring Lora and her borage of words, for that’s all they were to her. Finally Lora realized that Lynn was not acting herself. “Hey, what’s with you?” asked Lora. Something broke in Lynn and she was no longer sad and stunned, now she felt rage. “I asked you to take me home and you wouldn’t!!! And, and, and, oh, why couldn’t you have listened to me and done what I had asked?!?! You were so in to Tom that you totally ignored me!!” She screamed. Luckily for Lynn the rest of the house was empty: her mom had gone shopping, her younger brother Georgie had gone to his friend’s house, her older brother was with his girlfriend and dad had gone to his Brother Bob’s house to watch the games, so only Lora was privy to her screaming. “What has you so upset? What on earth did I do? As I recall we were all having fun.” said Lora dumb founded. “Don’t you remember me asking you and Tom to take me home? That I was afraid of Curtis and his drinking? You basically told me I was being crazy!” yelled Lynn. “I vaguely remember something to that effect but I was having so much fun I wasn’t ready to leave. Plus Curtis didn’t seem all that bad to me. I don’t know what you’re in such a tizzy about!” replied Lora. Lynn could barely contain herself, “I told you that Curtis had plans for last night to be THE night! It wasn’t romantic like I imagined it – far from it! It was horrid! I begged him not to but he wouldn’t listen to me! No one listened to me last night! It’s like I was mute and invisible! Lora interrupted, “Lynn are you telling me that Curtis forced himself on you?” Lynn shook her head. Lora continued, “Let me make sure I understand you. You are saying that Curtis raped you right?” Lynn went hysterical at the sound of the word, the one she had been trying to force out of her mind, to no avail. Lora ran to her friend to comfort her. She had no idea how to comfort her, with this retched revelation. She had never known anyone who had gone through such a horrid thing, so she just held her and stroked her hair as she wept and sobbed. Lora did some weeping herself. “I’m so sorry Lynn that I didn’t pay more attention to your needs last night. I’m so sorry that I had a part of what you were put through. It makes me sick just thinking about all you’ve been through.” commented Lora. About 30 minutes into this Lora had a practical thought about protection but decided this was not the time to mention it. Another 30 minutes later Lynn was again spent from crying and looked a mess. Lora decided it was time to leave her room. The house was still empty so she suggested they go down stairs to get something to eat.

Lora’s Lesson – A Short Story – Part 1

If you had asked Lora she would have told you that there was nothing wrong with her. In her eyes she was perfectly alright and in no need of change. But if you asked those close to her they might have said, “She can be cold and prickly.” Or “Sometimes she seems rather hard.” Only one person really might have understood her. One who had been so close at one time that instead of calling each other friends they referred to one another as sisters. But Lynn had been out of the picture for over four years now.

Lora was a conscientious employee and worked very hard for nine years but in the past four years she had become more and more cantankerous, and critical, often blowing up over minor mistakes by fellow employees. In fact lately the other employees had started to avoid her. She’s noticed that she was spending more lunches alone. Puzzled by this, she couldn’t put her finger on the reason why. She had always seen herself as gregarious and outgoing and a lot of fun, all of which were true as long as you didn’t cross her. It was sometimes very tricky to pinpoint what she’s had done. She was very charismatic and cut you with humor while smiling all the time. While you’re left wondering what just happened?

Lora didn’t always abuse her charisma. In fact it is was what attracted Lynn to her in the first place, as well as her humor, playfulness, compassion, loyalty and empathy. Lynn’s heart broke when the friendship fell apart. She has been hoping that they could find a way to reconcile. Her nightly prayer was; “Lord, I know what I did was wrong and I have asked Your forgiveness, which I thank You for giving me. Father, I have tried to speak to Lora to apologize and ask her forgiveness but she won’t take my calls; she returns my mail and refuses to open the door when I go to her house. Lord, please soften her heart that she would be willing to accept my apology and that our friendship would be restored. I so miss the old Lora.”

The two women had been friends since that first day of first grade. They met on the play ground when bullies were taunting Lynn a spunky and feisty Lora came to her rescue. This sealed their friendship. Not that Lynn needed defending but even at that tender age Lora had a tender heart coupled with a take charge streak.

Time went on, and when the girls reached high school they blossomed into beautiful, popular, young women. They were both on the girls varsity volleyball team. Lora was of course the team captain. They were also very involved in the drama department. This is where Lynn shone. She got the lead in nearly every production, and Lora was always there to cheer her on.

In her junior year, Lynn fell madly in love with Curtis Madding the varsity quarterback. They started dating in November and things started getting serious by Christmas. She started feeling pressured to go all the way. Curtis had big plans for New Year’s Eve. When he let Lynn in on the scheme she felt half exhilarated but mostly terrified. She had visions of how the night would go; dinner at a fancy restaurant, going dancing afterwards, and then a romantic intimate encounter in the hotel room. Things were going just as Lynn had imagined. They had a lovely dinner at “Pierre’s” the most expensive restaurant in town. Curtis had arranged for fake ID’s for them and Lora and her date Tom. So after dinner the four of them met at the “Club Venice”. Lynn was apprehensive about this because she had seen Curtis overdue on alcohol before and really didn’t want to be around him when he was drunk. As she suspected the first thing Curtis did at the club was to order a beer and chasers. She went to Lora and said, “I’m getting scared, Curtis keeps drinking and he is getting more and more aggressive, and demanding. I tried to get him to stop but he pinned me against the wall. Can you and Tom please give me a ride home?” Lora was distracted by the party atmosphere had no desire to leave so she replied, “Oh, Lynn don’t be such a baby. It’ll be okay. He’ll probably just pass out and sleep it off.” Lynn asked, “Do you have your cell phone so I could call a ride home or some change for the phone?” Lora responded, “No I didn’t bring a purse with me I knew Tom would be taking care of everything. Buck up everything will be okay, your such a worry wort.” Lynn walked away feeling deflated and abandoned. She then realized that she had no money to call her mom and dad and left her cell phone charging; she realized Curtis was her only way home, perhaps she could reason with him. Deciding to numb her fears she ordered a rum and coke. She was still nursing it when midnight hit and Curtis pulled her toward him and gave her a sloppy French kiss then said, “Come on baby it’s time to go.” He grabbed Lynn’s arm hard and dragging her out of there, much to her dismay. Before she knew it she was in his truck on the way to the room. All the way she kept telling Curtis, “Please, no! I don’t want to anymore! I’ve changed my mind! Curtis, please take me home! Oh, please, please, no!” Curtis replied only once, “Look you stop being such a tease! I’ll take you home when the evening is over and it’s not over yet you bitch!”