30 Days of Gratitude – Day 17

Today I’m grateful for the wonderful relationship that I’m in.  I may have been grateful for this in the past but what I’m most grateful about it is that he is willing to walk with me through my Bi-polar disorder.

Unknown

So you can understand why this is such a big deal let me share a little of my history with you.  I was married once a long time ago and my husband never asked questions regarding my disorder, or did much of anything to try and understand me.  He did however bring a lawyer to a hospital I was at, under the guise of a “friend of the family, helping my ex make some decisions”.  I thought that he was a psychiatrist or therapist so I answered all his questions to be of help to my ex.  I thought this would help our relationship and he would better understand me.  I was way off base.  His plan was to see if I could be institutionalized.  He ran from my disorder and wanted nothing to do with me, so the marriage eventually ended in divorce, since I wasn’t fixable.

images-4

That pain, hurt, betrayal hit me hard.  I thought that I was permanent damaged goods that no one in there right mind would want to have anything to do with me.  So I resigned myself to being single the rest of my life and believed it was preferred as Paul mentions I believe in Corinthians.

God saw things differently He decided to bring healing to that area of my life in the form of the most amazing man from my past.  I had cherished his friendship always but something caused us to loose track of each other.  I now believe it was God’s providence.  We had the basis of a wonderful friendship but it wasn’t the right timing for more.  While we were apart I kept praying that God would bring a man like him into my life.  I missed getting the male perspective on things.  Twenty years I prayed hoping God would one day answer my prayer and He is so good.  He didn’t give me a man like him He gave me the original.

images

He has always been compassionate, man of God, Godly leader in the relationship whatever form that took, a gentleman, knows me well, but now I’ve noticed that he really pays attention to me and has insight to me.  He also works very hard to understand my disorder and assures me that he isn’t going anywhere.  Those two things alone make me so grateful for this relationship that I’m nearly bursting with joy.  He also warns me that there will be times when he gets frustrated with the Bi-polar disorder in not being able to understand it.  That’s comforting to me in two ways; 1) I don’t have to worry that it’s me personally that’s got him frustrated and 2) It’s a human thing, I get frustrated with this disorder as well.

images-1

Waiting 22 years after my divorce to find the perfect man for me was well worth the wait and all the work that had to be done in preparation for it.  If you find yourself newly single can I give you some advice and words of encouragement.  Don’t rush into anything.  Give yourself a chance to heal.  Give God time to work.  And always hold out for God’s best for you, you’ll never regret it.

Joy – A Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

What Should People Be Saying About You?

In Proverbs 27:21 it says,

The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives.

When I read this I got to thinking, what kind of life am I living?  Yes I get some very nice words for my blogs on occasion but is that enough?  What is God calling me to do?  I’m to be a light at the top of a hill.  A beckon that guides the way.  That is something people are grateful for and may even praise.  Not that I am anything of myself without God and ultimately all the praise goes to Him.  But am I causing people to praise Him?  I fear not.

I want my works to withstand God’s testing.  I want my Heavenly Father to say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”  I don’t want to be one that makes it as just one who barely made it through with what little effort put in burnt in the flames.

Lord, make me a powerhouse for You.  I want to hear the praises rise to glorify You and cause people to come to You by the droves.  Lord, give me a fire that burns within me that cannot be quenched.  Cause me to call those who don’t know You to You.  I want to be used mightily of You.

I know this is going to take work on my part and I’m ready to go into the hidden areas of my life and release them to You for healing and renewal.  I give You every part of me, the horrible parts of my past, the things that scare me about the present and the hopes and dreams and fears of my tomorrows.  They are all Yours Lord.  I put them and leave them at the foot of the cross.  Help me not to return to them unless You need me to to learn and grow, other than that I release them to Your mighty power and wisdom.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

PRAYER NEEDED

PRAYER NEEDED.  Let’s pray for this family in need.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors and healing for the son.  Pray for a miracle.  God is in the job of miracles. After all He is “The Great Physician”!  Most importantly pray for God’s will and for the families strength and faith to accept that if it means no miracle or healing. But since we know that God loves His children we stand with them believing that love will mean a yes to healing.

Our ways are not His ways nor our thoughts His thoughts.  So we must be ready if  God sees fit not to heal.  That doesn’t mean He loves that person any less than any other it just means that He has a different path for them to follow  and to grow from no matter how painful that path may be.  As Paul prayed for the thorn in his side to be removed, he learned it was not God’s will to remove it and look at the ministry he had with it.

Likewise it is not ours to decide who will be healed and who won’t that is why we join as one and pray for healing until it is answered.  One way or another.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart