30 Days of Gratitude – Day 17

Today I’m grateful for the wonderful relationship that I’m in.  I may have been grateful for this in the past but what I’m most grateful about it is that he is willing to walk with me through my Bi-polar disorder.

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So you can understand why this is such a big deal let me share a little of my history with you.  I was married once a long time ago and my husband never asked questions regarding my disorder, or did much of anything to try and understand me.  He did however bring a lawyer to a hospital I was at, under the guise of a “friend of the family, helping my ex make some decisions”.  I thought that he was a psychiatrist or therapist so I answered all his questions to be of help to my ex.  I thought this would help our relationship and he would better understand me.  I was way off base.  His plan was to see if I could be institutionalized.  He ran from my disorder and wanted nothing to do with me, so the marriage eventually ended in divorce, since I wasn’t fixable.

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That pain, hurt, betrayal hit me hard.  I thought that I was permanent damaged goods that no one in there right mind would want to have anything to do with me.  So I resigned myself to being single the rest of my life and believed it was preferred as Paul mentions I believe in Corinthians.

God saw things differently He decided to bring healing to that area of my life in the form of the most amazing man from my past.  I had cherished his friendship always but something caused us to loose track of each other.  I now believe it was God’s providence.  We had the basis of a wonderful friendship but it wasn’t the right timing for more.  While we were apart I kept praying that God would bring a man like him into my life.  I missed getting the male perspective on things.  Twenty years I prayed hoping God would one day answer my prayer and He is so good.  He didn’t give me a man like him He gave me the original.

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He has always been compassionate, man of God, Godly leader in the relationship whatever form that took, a gentleman, knows me well, but now I’ve noticed that he really pays attention to me and has insight to me.  He also works very hard to understand my disorder and assures me that he isn’t going anywhere.  Those two things alone make me so grateful for this relationship that I’m nearly bursting with joy.  He also warns me that there will be times when he gets frustrated with the Bi-polar disorder in not being able to understand it.  That’s comforting to me in two ways; 1) I don’t have to worry that it’s me personally that’s got him frustrated and 2) It’s a human thing, I get frustrated with this disorder as well.

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Waiting 22 years after my divorce to find the perfect man for me was well worth the wait and all the work that had to be done in preparation for it.  If you find yourself newly single can I give you some advice and words of encouragement.  Don’t rush into anything.  Give yourself a chance to heal.  Give God time to work.  And always hold out for God’s best for you, you’ll never regret it.

Joy – A Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

Seeing From God’s Perspective

Max Lucado has some very interesting things to share on this in his devotional, “Grace for the Moment Volume II: More Inspirational Thoughts for Each Day of the Year”

God Sees What We Can’t

“No one is like the LORD our God, who rules from heaven.”  – Psalm 113:5

On a trip to the United Kingdom, our family visited a castle.  In the center of the garden sat a maze.  Row after row of shoulder-high hedges, leading to one dead end after another.  Successfully navigate the labyrinth, and discover the door to a tall tower in the center of the garden.  Were you to look at our family pictures of the trip, you’d see four of five family members standing on the top of the tower. Hmmm, someone is still on the ground.  Guess who?  I was stuck in the foliage I just couldn’t figure out which way to go.

Ah, but then I heard a voice from above.  “Hey, Dad.” I looked up to see Sara, peering through the turret at the top.  “You’re going the wrong way,” she explained. “Back up and turn right.”

Do you think I trusted her? I didn’t have to.  But do you know what I did?  I listened.  Her vantage point was better than mine.  She was above the maze.  She could see what I couldn’t.

Don’t you think we should do the same with God?

Max Lucado makes a great point here.  It seems to be so simple to let God who sees all from heaven and knows all to give in to His perspective or still small voice calling us to “Back up and turn right”.   But in comes choice and pride and the voice, “I know what I’m doing.  I can do it.  I’ll do it by myself.”  We sound like toddlers attempting to exert our rights.  But just like the toddlers parents that knows what’s best for him or her so does our Heavenly Father knows what’s best.

The toddler is in a hurry to be like the parent without listening to the parent.  It doesn’t work for the toddler and it doesn’t work for us.  We must bow down to God’s perspective.  He has a greater vantage point than us.  Not only is He looking from the vantage of Heaven and the present but eternity future.  He can see the whole picture while we can not.  After all He is God, we are not!

Any time we try to put ourselves in the place where God should be we sin and we will find that life will become as difficult as trying to go through that maze in the dead of night, difficult, confusing, near to impossible to navigate, scary, worrisome, anxiety causing and a host of other miserable things that are unnecessary if we just listen to God and follow His leading.

We need to put our pride aside, leave the toddler stage and mature to at the least young adults that will not only listen to the whispers of the Lord but in obedience follow that guidance.  Once we’ve done that we are well on our way to living the abundant life God has in store for us.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart