A Time for Tough Decisions

Yes, God calls us to love one another but He is also a holy God and wants His Church to be holy as well.  Paul gives us an example of when we must make a tough decision for the health of the Body and for the ultimate well being of the believer.   And for those watching to see if we are truly different.

1It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among the pagans: A an has his father’s wife.  2And you are proud!  Shouldn’t you rather have filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?  3Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit.  And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present.  4When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. –  1  Corinthians 5:1-5

Paul is clearly telling us here that there are times that we must judge for the sake of the Church Body and for the sake of the one caught in the sin.  Not to lord it over them but humbly in a hope to bring restoration in the end.

If we allow sin to run ramp hit in the Church than we are hypocrites and no different than the world.  This is why Paul writes on this subject because when one who is caught in a sin and is unrepentant, not willing to turn away from it, then the rest of the body must stand up for holiness and approach the one caught in the sin.

In 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 Paul gives us instruction on how to handle a brother caught in sin.

9I have written in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-10not at all meaning people of this world who are immoral, or greedy and swindlers, or idolators.  In that case you would have to leave this world.  11But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.  With such a man you must not even eat.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?  Are you not to judge those inside?  13God will judge those outside.  Expel the wicked from among you.

These are never fun decisions but they are vital to the health of the body of the Church.  When we do not make these difficult decisions and they are found out that is when the Church looks like a bunch of hypocrites.

We must be a pillar of light standing in the darkness.  But if we allow the darkness to live among us our light will go out and we are useless to anyone and victim to the wrath of God for not doing His will and protecting His church.

We must call ourselves to a calling more stringent than that of the world.  Yes God is a God of love and mercy and when someone comes back truly repentant then we can accept them back into the fold.  But if they are rebellious and don’t care that they are sinning it is time to cut ties.  This is how the Body of Christ stays away from hypocrisy.  Let’s be deligent in this difficult task for the good of the Body of Christ.

Joy – A Fellow Sojourner & A Woman After God’s Own Heart!

Woman To Be Cherished

Proverbs 19 speaks about two types of women.  One that no one would knowingly desire to attain to.  The other, I believe every woman would hope that she is thought in such a manner.

and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:13b-14

In my lifetime I hate to admit but I have done my part of being a quarrelsome wife.  To be honest with you not only am I sure my ex-husband feel the constant dripping but I began to feel it to and didn’t like it one bit!  I wasn’t happy with who I had become yet I felt stuck and unsure how to become a wife he could cherish rather than one he wanted to avoid.

I looked to anything that I thought would help; self-help books, eventually therapists yes multiple.  One was good enough for me but my marriage was crumbling around me.  When I brought my husband in he was good until they started looking at his issues then he wanted nothing to do with them.

All the rest of that is for another time.  Suffice it to say my constant dripping didn’t help things and we eventually parted ways.  This caused me to do some very deep soul searching.  One of our issues was he left God during our marriage and wanted nothing to do with anyone that had anything to do with God.  My problem is that I had misunderstood submissive and put him in front of God.

So here I was without my idol, praying to God to help get me through this mess.  I was just where God wanted me.  Back with Him.  I had lost my first love.  It is my belief that our God being a jealous God allowed my marriage to end because of my idolatry.  He wanted me back and nothing else had worked.  I was working on the letter of the law but not the spirit of the law.

In the 22 years of my singleness I have learned a lot about what it means to be a good wife.  I’ve prayed that God would make me into the Proverbs 31 woman more times than I can count.  I’ve prayed it with the thought in mind that my husband was the Lord.  This is what I’ve prayed:

I long to be Your Proverbs 31 woman.  May I be “a virtuous wife…worth far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life…Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land…strength and honor are her clothing; she can laugh at days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; ‘Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, shall be praised.  Give the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Since I have no children of my own, when it speaks of children I think of spiritual children I may have, and pray that they would see me at least a little like this woman of God.

These past 22 years I have learned many things about myself that needed changing and I have learned that men don’t respond nagging.  To say it once in a loving request that builds him up is much more effective and will keep your marriage healthy.  Always in all we do or say our job is to build him up.

Now if you are married please don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating divorce or separation.  But if your single or if everything seems to be being taken from you, it could mean that God is calling you to a closer walk with Him.

He may be pruning you to make you into the prudent woman of God that He will eventually present to your future husband or to repair your relationship.  If this is the case please be patient once a bush or tree is pruned, especially when it’s been severely pruned it takes a long time for the branches to grow to the tree the pruner had intended.  For me its been more than 22 years just to get a boyfriend.  Please notice that word I said boyfriend and not fiancé or husband.  I’m perfectly content to be where God has me right now.

You may ask after 22 years how can she be content with just a boyfriend.  Well, I can see the tree’s branches and they are almost grown out to the woman of God that the right man deserves.  Secondly, there is progress in so many areas of my life only one being, I didn’t have a boyfriend this time last year.

How might we be prudent woman that are a gift from God?  A man wants respect, so in everything we do and say we must do it from a place of respect.  A man needs building up.  All day long the world tears him down.  Our job to undo what the world has been doing. Build, build, build.  A man needs to be honored.  So no nagging!  You may disagree at such things but that is what makes a prudent woman.  She isn’t a politically correct woman.  She is called out by God to higher standards.  She is called to live a righteous life.  Not that she will always succeed but she must strive to be righteous in all she does.

You might be thinking or saying well what do I get out of all of this.  Which let me remind you, this is our calling and we shouldn’t be thinking what we get out of it.  If I had told you to respect, praise, honor and don’t nag God, would you be so quick to complain.  Just as God loves and cherishes us when we do these things so does a man.  So do it unto the Lord as an act of obedience if you must or better do it as an act of love for your man.  Trust me when I tell you from what I’ve observed of friends that live a life this way, there is no greater joy and no better way to guarantee being cherished by your man than this way.

That Amazing Tongue

It is amazing what the tongue can do.  With it we are able to enjoy the food we eat and distinguish between bad and enjoyable tastes. We can tell the difference between the sweetness of a strawberry and the sourness of spoiled milk.  We can also taste the subtleties of the various flavors put into a mouse.  Yes God made an amazing tool when He made the tongue.

It is also amazing what mankind has discovered he can do to it.  They pierce it.  Well I just leave it at piercing.  That seems odd enough for me.

The things that they can do with their tongue is pretty amazing from folding it to touching their nose to what this man did.

Yuck is all I can say! That’s not my idea of a kiss! But whatever.

But this most amazing instrument also has the ability bring forth wisdom or folly as mentioned in Proverbs 10.  The Bible commends those who are wise with their tongue but condemns those who are not, calling them a fool.

It is so easy to be unwise.  A little slip here and before I know it I’m gossiping, I’m sure your familiar with the problem.  A car cuts you off and in an instant you’re calling them a fool or worse.  Maybe you’re tired and have a headache when you come home so your curt with the ones you love.

What wisdom does the Bible have to say to strive for?

“Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.”  Proverbs 10:18

“Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongue.”  Proverbs 10:19

“The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.”  Proverbs 10:20

“The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense.”  Proverbs 10:21

How might we tame such a wild beast you may ask?  That only comes through the help of the Holy Spirit.  We have been given the fruit of the Spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, against such there is no law.  All we have to do is to mature in the fruit.

As the fruit of the tree depend on the tree to give it life and let the fruit mature to ripening so we must depend on the Holy Spirit until that day when we are called to Heaven and then the maturing or ripening will be done.

I’m not saying that it is easy to hold your tongue and change old behaviors but it is possible and it is vital to your Christian walk.  If we are to shine God’s glory our words must be in accordance with His Word.

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart

A Bitter Pill

Anger and resentment are dangerous emotions. Don’t get me wrong anger when handled properly is not only important but healthy. Jesus was angry at the money changers at the temple and overturned their tables and drove them out. Matthew 21:13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.'” He was obviously very angry with them and we know that Jesus never sinned. Since Jesus displayed anger and did not sin, we know that there is righteous anger.

But there is unrighteous anger as well. Ephesians 4:26-27 “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” What does Paul mean by, “do not give the devil a foothold”?

When we don’t deal with our anger swiftly as the Bible prescribes resentment takes root. That’s a deadly combination. Which the devil is just waiting to use to his advantage. You see if he can talk you into not forgiving the one who wronged you he knows that anger and resentment will cause your heart to grow hard and your relationship with God to suffer. That my friends is a bitter pill to digest.

Now don’t get me wrong I would never suggest to the wife being battered to forgive and forget and stay in that situation. God is the only one that forgives and forgets. We are only asked to forgive for our benefit. No to the battered wife or husband I say GET OUT! God does not what is children harmed.

You remember for wisdom sake. You learn from past experiences and hopefully don’t make the same mistake again.

When I was going through my divorce, 22 years ago it took me a long time to get through the hurt and anger of the situation. To be honest there was a lot of resentment and my heart did grow hard for a season. I was broken and I couldn’t understand why the marriage I thought was blessed by God was falling apart. I didn’t understand how my husband could stop loving God and me. I’ll be honest with you I was so broken that I attempted more than once to go home to my heavenly Father. Praise God, He didn’t let me succeed!

Let me encourage you that if you are going through a particularly difficult time and the anger is high and resentment is crouching at your door or has already entered your heart, pray that God would guide you. Pray for a change in your heart. Our God is the job of doing miracles. All you have to do is ask and He will gladly answer your prayer. But don’t be surprised if some work on your part must be done first. I had to honestly look at all sides of the picture before my heart was ready to forgive. Now instead of anger or resentment or bitterness about my ex I have compassion for him. Does that mean I want reconciliation with him? No! He doesn’t love God and has many more issues I would never agree to live with. But do I occasionally pray for his soul? Yes. He is lost and needs prayer.

For those things that may seem major but are not as major as the ending of a relationship. Such as a dispute with your spouse, I beg you as soon as you are able to talk with a cool head DO IT! Listen to the Word of God and don’t give the devil a foothold. If you need to take a walk before you talk, take a walk but do everything you can to handle it as quickly as possible. You are doing yourself and your loved one a service.

Once you start taking bitter pills, they get easier and easier to swallow so do yourself a favor and don’t get used to them at all. Right here, right now make the decision that bitter pills are not for you. Instead decided that you will wear the cloak of forgiveness and humility. Bitter pills make you hard and cold. The cloak of forgiveness and humility keeps you warm and loving. That’s what being a Christian is all about isn’t it?

Joy – A Woman After God’s Own Heart